SINGLE MOM, 4 KIDS.
No one ever said being a mom would be a walk in the park but being a single mom takes it to a whole another level. I love my kids with all my heart but Let’s face it, it is a lot to do on my own but I’m making it.
I’m the single mom with four kids-
Now, don’t get me wrong there was a point in time when I thought I couldn’t have any kids, so when I finally did get pregnant with my son who is now 12. It was like holy cow, I’m producing and didn’t stop. Lol, but really. Now, it’s always oh wow your a single mom of four. Yes, that’s me and my name is Kristina. Now don’t get me wrong it wasn’t always like this and I wasn’t always a single mother of four, Let’s go back to the past for a bit.
Rewind back a few years –
I was married once, and had a home with my husband, everything was so peachy in the beginning, it always is. Until you really know a person, not saying I didn’t know him beforehand but I can honestly say, I didn’t know the person before I said “I DO”. It was like when I said those two words all bets were off, and I was officially his. Mrs. A, and he turned into someone that I didn’t know. But before all of that I was so sure I found the man of my dreams the one I would grow old with, and spend the rest of my life with. This man knew everything about me he knew when my period was coming on, or when it was late, he told me when I was pregnant with our first child together before I knew myself. Sounds in tune with my body right ? I thought I was on cloud nine. Now I’m not here to bash my kids father but just to really open up about it and get it off my chest. I have held so much in, which caused a lot of anger within myself, and towards others. I was really in a dark place., and isolated myself all the time from it.
Now, I met my husband the end of 2008. At this time I already had a kid, who at that time was about a year old almost two. Its like my husband came in, and swept me off my feet. Accepted and treated my son like he was his, potty trained him, got him off the pacifier and bottle. He did all the fatherly duties as a father should and would do, and I loved him even more for it. I was so sure I found my match made in heaven.
Now, we got married in 2013. At this time I had three children a 3-year old, 2 year old, and a 6-month-old. We move fast right ? The wedding date was supposed to be in February, which was supposed to be a valentine theme wedding but unfortunately we had a big snow storm, and we had to push the date back. That should have been a sign right there but, no! I wanted my big wedding. We lost our money from the Venue and a few other vendors as well so it set us back a month to March 2013. Not to bad right ? So we got married, Beautiful wedding with lots of family and friends .
New home/married life-
We moved into our own home, and started our own family. We didn’t get to go on a honeymoon because funds were not up to par and we were in the process of moving into a bigger home so we pushed our honey moon back. Life was good, the married life was great for about a year. Then things started to fall apart. I wanted so badly to go back to work but he didn’t want me working and if I did work it would only be on the weekends, I mean what income am I bringing in with that ? You know that phrase “barefoot and pregnant?”. That was the motto he lived by. A wife that stayed at home and got pregnant every other year. That wasn’t my life though, I wanted to be much more than that. The days I did have to work which was 40 minutes away from where we lived. I had no transportation at the time so I would take the train back and forth to and from work, not complaining at all, but the icing on the cake was I had to trail three kids with me each and every time. I would ask him to keep the kids but his thing was he wasn’t babysitting never knew it was babysitting when it comes to your own kids, god forbid I questioned him or asked him about his whereabouts. That was when the abuse started and don’t let me catch him in a lie because that’s when it would be worst and the abuse was out of this world not only mentally but physically as well. I would always threaten to leave but then he would say who is going to want you, a single mom with four kids. That would really take a toll on me and eat me up inside that I really thought it was true.
I finally opened up my eyes when I was going into labor with my youngest son who is 5 now. It was Wednesday, November 19, 2014. That day changed me. I was already having discomfort the night before, and was unable to sleep so that Wednesday morning I had to bring my daughter to the bus stop for school, and I kept telling him I wasn’t feeling well I was very uncomfortable and in a lot of pain. He kept brushing me off, thinking I was exaggerating. So I sucked it up and dragged my self to the bus stop in pain. I was wincing and crunching over the whole time the contractions were getting much closer and the pain was unbearable and I had to go to the hospital to be checked. Can you believe he was mad, that I woke him up to drive me to the hospital ? And that’s what he did just that drove me to the hospital never was there for my birth or anything when I had my son he came and stopped in but always said he had to do something for the kids now remind you my children were safe they were staying with my grandmother while I was in labor. I set that up the night before because I just knew I was going to have my son the next day. My husband never stayed with me in the hospital so I made the hardest, and bravest decision and said enough is enough I deserve so much better than this. I left him from the hospital, never returned to get any of my things or anything I just left.
Where I am today-
Now, today I can honestly say that I am a better person, I know my worth. My husband would always tell me no one will take me serious and no man wants a woman with four kids especially not by him, and you know what that’s OK because if nobody loves me I love me and my kids love me and that’s all that matters. I am in my own 3 bedroom home working a good full time job doing the damn thing making it happen by myself with four kids.
When someone tells you that you are not capable of doing something you show them otherwise. I always tell my kids you are cable of doing anything you want to do, don’t let anyone stop you from your dreams.You have the last say so !